What do I do when someone dies ?
In today’s society many people are reluctant to discuss the subject of death. They may be worried by its nature, but they overlook that it comes to all of us sooner or later.
For those in great pain and suffering death may come as a relief.
For the bereaved however, death is always a sudden and unwelcome guest, tearing our lives apart and removing a loved partner, parent, friend or, worst of all, a child from our sight. Even if expected, death comes as a shock.
For people entering the first stages of an unknown area such as death, many mixed emotions arise. This page attempts to clear the mystery and gloom.
It is designed to help you face the practicalities of death.

A death has occurred
If the death has occurred at home it is not always necessary to have the body removed straight away. Sometimes people traveling a distance like to be able to pay their last respects, although this is probably better done in the undertaker’s chapel. Generally the undertaker will call after the doctor although it is not always necessary to wait for the doctor.
If the death has occurred at a nursing home the manager will ask you to nominate an undertaker or they may suggest one. The removal of the body normally takes place shortly after the death, generally once the Doctor has been, whereas in hospital it will happen much later, after you have started the arrangements.
You should contact the undertaker so that he can carry out your wishes. His role should be seen as an advisor implementing your instructions and guiding you through the many questions and problems you will be experiencing.

Registration
The Doctor, Matron or Hospital will give you the Doctor’s certificate of death, which needs to be taken to the Registrar in the area in which the death took place. This is not always convenient when occurring away from home. Some Registrars have an appointment system and you should always check times etc., before leaving.

You will be asked for the following details:

• Full name and address of the deceased.

• Date and place of birth (the birth certificate is not required)

• Maiden name

• Occupation

• Spouse’s full name and occupation

• Death certificate

• Medical card

In some cases such as sudden death and unexpected deaths, the Coroner may be involved. This need not delay the funeral but
Registration may, if an inquest is held, be delayed for some time.

The Arrangements
Sometimes undertakers and the clergy are criticised for bland funerals that have no feeling or meaning. We make every effort to ensure that the funerals we conduct are personal - and that they meet the expectations of the bereaved family. We choose the people officiating at the funeral with great care.

You need to think about:

• Whether you want to arrange a burial or cremation

• If cremated, how you want to dispose of the ashes

• Whether you want a church service

• Music for the Service

• Vehicles

• Whether you want donations in lieu of flowers

• Notices in papers

All this can be done at the undertaker’s office or at home.
It is best to avoid removing all the decision making away from the main mourner. So often the children or a friend may say, " We’ll do that for you." Afterwards the main mourner may be left with a sense of emptiness, not knowing what happened and eventually not being able to recall the death and its details. The arrangements are an important part of the mourning process.

The Day
Once all the details are in place everything should go like clockwork!
This is the main responsibility of the undertaker and so it is important to appoint the right undertaker. He will ensure that all possible problems have been covered. Naturally things like traffic jams, power cuts etc., are beyond his control but in the main all should be well.

Aftercare
Many local churches have a bereavement visiting scheme, lay people who come and listen. You are not alone in your feelings, everyone goes through the same emotions. The process is slow and never ends as each anniversary brings back painful thoughts and happy memories.
We can recommend aftercare support, if you want it.

Prepayment
Some people want the peace of mind of pre-paid funerals. You’ll know that your wishes will be carried out and that the family will not be left with having to think; "What would they have wanted?" and "What about the cost?". For many without a family it can be a considerable source of comfort.
Please ask for further details.

Conclusion
With so many of the "family name funeral directors" in the hands of large institutions, the automatic reaction to pick up the phone and dial a familiar name is not always wise.
It is our privilege that you entrust the person you love to us and you must have every confidence in our abilities and the quality of the management team.